Finally the confrontation has begun, the one I didn't want and the one I know I will fight for. Ever since I have ventured online I knew that I had to do it in private and on my terms. Having my privacy intruded is a huge source of discomfort for me and the way mom and dad keep asking questions I was sure my search wouldn't be pleasant.
So far there have been 2 major verbal brawls
Rejection - How to properly say NO to no -
Last week Nanna had sent me the photo of a girl which he had found the most perfect and rightful girl. He also went on to tell me that if I was okay getting married in the next year early months. The icing on the cake, I was told, was that usually in our community finding girls of that height and that fairness is nearly impossible and that this was a God sent gift for me. Anyways burdened with so much expectations and fully knowing that this girl doesn't meet one of the mandatory criteria I had kept for myself (a working girl), I finally had a chance to look at the photo.
I didn't like what I saw. I just felt she was little short, little stout, looking little aged and this is all from the photo.This is what I told them on the phone. Dad wasn't happy, Mom too wasn't happy. They kept persisting that in photos sometimes the girls don't come good and I need to see her in person. Like that's THE golden rule. Furthering adding to this bizarre logic is that the girl's is hailing from a town where Balu annaya's wife is hailing from. Even after telling them not to bother finding about her, my parents went on to do their own background search and their joy knew no bounds.
Everything was just perfect except me agreeing to it. I now am forced to see the girl even though I don' want to see her. Just irking them further was my stupid admission that I rejected a girl on the matrimony website hailing from Kadapa. I had a good 30 minutes hearing from my fuming mom and dad on the phone with my side of conversation being only saying 'ok' for every 30 seconds literally. I just wish they first had seen the girl and why I declined.
Drinking and Non-Veg- Really? How can I?
This is more to do with my profile. One of the things that I hated the most during Prat's profile set-up was my parents insistence that he keep his profile as 'Vegetarian' even though he loves chicken like a second skin. He later turning out to be a vegetarian for the respect for Gowthami is entirely different subject and yes, he has now turned back to non-veg.
I hated such display of profile. Its a blatant lie and I firmly decided then that I would never want to do the online matrimony with my parents hanging around. Circumstances now forced me to relent to them and I had my profile put up in the site few days back with the way I wanted.
Yesterday was when finally they really read that I had kept 'Drinks Occassionally' and 'Non Vegetarian'. So over the phone I had 20 minute duel strongly arguing with them, putting out all the sentimental punches like 'I don't like it but I am doing it for you. Please don't expect me to be happy with such display' etc.
Rethinking over what has happened I now feel 'Drinks Occassionally' can never be justified in the eyes of the Indian thinking of uncles and aunties, no matter how truthful I am. As Chandan says "Your occasionally might be one week, how would they justify?" So I am not consciously hurt now when I have changed my drinking habits to 'Never Drink'. Besides it's the bride I need to impress upon not the father-in-law.
Putting it as 'Vegetarian' though is completely out of question.
This is the decision I have now come upon - I am no longer going to visit the site that my parents have forced me to change my preference.
So far there have been 2 major verbal brawls
Rejection - How to properly say NO to no -
Last week Nanna had sent me the photo of a girl which he had found the most perfect and rightful girl. He also went on to tell me that if I was okay getting married in the next year early months. The icing on the cake, I was told, was that usually in our community finding girls of that height and that fairness is nearly impossible and that this was a God sent gift for me. Anyways burdened with so much expectations and fully knowing that this girl doesn't meet one of the mandatory criteria I had kept for myself (a working girl), I finally had a chance to look at the photo.
I didn't like what I saw. I just felt she was little short, little stout, looking little aged and this is all from the photo.This is what I told them on the phone. Dad wasn't happy, Mom too wasn't happy. They kept persisting that in photos sometimes the girls don't come good and I need to see her in person. Like that's THE golden rule. Furthering adding to this bizarre logic is that the girl's is hailing from a town where Balu annaya's wife is hailing from. Even after telling them not to bother finding about her, my parents went on to do their own background search and their joy knew no bounds.
Everything was just perfect except me agreeing to it. I now am forced to see the girl even though I don' want to see her. Just irking them further was my stupid admission that I rejected a girl on the matrimony website hailing from Kadapa. I had a good 30 minutes hearing from my fuming mom and dad on the phone with my side of conversation being only saying 'ok' for every 30 seconds literally. I just wish they first had seen the girl and why I declined.
Drinking and Non-Veg- Really? How can I?
This is more to do with my profile. One of the things that I hated the most during Prat's profile set-up was my parents insistence that he keep his profile as 'Vegetarian' even though he loves chicken like a second skin. He later turning out to be a vegetarian for the respect for Gowthami is entirely different subject and yes, he has now turned back to non-veg.
I hated such display of profile. Its a blatant lie and I firmly decided then that I would never want to do the online matrimony with my parents hanging around. Circumstances now forced me to relent to them and I had my profile put up in the site few days back with the way I wanted.
Yesterday was when finally they really read that I had kept 'Drinks Occassionally' and 'Non Vegetarian'. So over the phone I had 20 minute duel strongly arguing with them, putting out all the sentimental punches like 'I don't like it but I am doing it for you. Please don't expect me to be happy with such display' etc.
Rethinking over what has happened I now feel 'Drinks Occassionally' can never be justified in the eyes of the Indian thinking of uncles and aunties, no matter how truthful I am. As Chandan says "Your occasionally might be one week, how would they justify?" So I am not consciously hurt now when I have changed my drinking habits to 'Never Drink'. Besides it's the bride I need to impress upon not the father-in-law.
Putting it as 'Vegetarian' though is completely out of question.
This is the decision I have now come upon - I am no longer going to visit the site that my parents have forced me to change my preference.
Interests Expressed by me - 23
Accepted so far - 0
Declined so far -10
Interests Expressed by others - 3
Accepted - 0
Declined - 3
2 comments:
About meeting a girl: go, eat some free food and later say NO. I’ve heard food served during shooting is always good!
About veg and drinking: Don’t you have any options like 'no preferences'. Just like you have cut down 5kgs, stop eating Non-Vegetarian for a while.
Thanks mate. I never thought about the food aspect. On second thoughts this would give me the first experience of getting into the process.
And coming to veg and drinking- There is no option where I can leave it blank man. Keeping it Vegetarian just doesn't please me. Anyways I really need to think about this before changing it.
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