Laptop Blues..

I love my laptop and having been relentlessly using it for the last 3 and a half years, I can't see myself living without one. In fact my connection with cyber world dates back to pre-engineering days of downloading hundreds of softwares such as anti-virus, desktop gadgets, utilities, games, anything under the sun be it free or commercial. It then moved on to more suave pass times such as torrents and then I never looked back.

In my addiction to my passionate hobby of movie watching I sometimes overstep the boundaries and have resulted in abusing my laptop to no end. Within 2 years it lost all its cool and literally has become a oven of sorts. Within span of 20 minutes it goes uncontrollable heat levels and if you are new to using my lappie you would be shocked with the first taste of that emanating heat. I am used to the heat now. Changing the battery, motherboard at the cost of over 10,000 rupees didn't help my cause at all and the only respite I have is that I really don't use my laptop on the 'lap' but on the 'top' of the table. The freedom of working on my laptop without the power has been taken away permanently.

Making my life much more miserable is the fact that it cannot run without power. Power cut, you are cut is the mantra. All your information GONE, unsaved information GONE, movie download in the middle GONE, data transfer halfway completed GONE, GONE GONE GONE ...pfff...vanished in thin air. I have experienced each and every one of this and much more that I care not to remember. Since last year's July I had been seriously mulling over buying a new one for my own. For me its just pointless working with some piece of metal garbage that puts my heart and mind bitching constantly against each other. I just don't deserve this. It was driving me crazy.

I knew this was a highly sensitive topic that needed to be carefully handled before broaching it with my mom and dad. I was fully determined to get one during last year boxing day period of US. That dream was broken and shattered when I came to know about my Paris trip. Nothing much to complain and it gave me some consolation of avoiding any major fights with my folks at home and I totally forgot about it.

During my stay at Paris, around March I had come to know that all employees who were SSE and above (that's me) will be getting a compensation of 50,000. I was completely stunned and I could literally see some lappies with wings circling around head. For the first time I wanted to ask myself, and believing myself God indeed is a GOD! THUD! Stamped - Laptop this christmas - Guaranteed!

Chapter closed! Zipped! Boom! Hurrah! Party..party..party..

But, yes there is this ugly butt problem. Something unexpected had happened. This is usually not the way that can ever happen with Prat but it did. He had accidentally broke his laptop and the cost of repairing was almost as good as buying a new one there. So tadaan, smart that he is and also now living with his lovely intelligent wife, decision making wasn't hard. They needn't consult anyone. Two days later they had brand new kick ass laptop at their doorstep with over the top configuration and all the bells and whistles that comes along. Next logical and stupidest thing they did was to send it back to India into the safe custody of my parents during the last 5 months.

If you are a smart-ass, by now you might have figured out the dilemma I now face. Since you aren't, by looking at your dumb quizzical look, here is how it went.

1. Dad call tech
2. Tech come take laptop
3. Laptop fix, working,
4. Dad go tech, take laptop.
5. Dad go attic, put laptop

Around a week back, I accidentally slipped my thoughts to my mom that I am planning to buy a laptop this year. I have been doing a lot and I mean a lot of searching for the dream laptop that I needed with reasonable price and I was confident, totally 100% confident that I was completely in reach of getting it around 33K max during the sale period. The config, just to drool over it, was was Intel i5 Processor, 4 GB RAM, 640 Gig Harddisk, Dolby speakers and DELL. At least once in a day I keep checking if it has got cheaper, little cheaper at least.

From the wide range of history that I know of the folks who got their laptops I was 1000% confident that I can get the same damn thing around 29K too. Come on, the other icing on the cake being the US market is under going one of the worst sale crisis and discounts are the only way PC market can stay afloat. This christmas its gonna be like no other. Every dream that I have built around this beautiful desirable thing has now been rammed against the wall.

My dad truly is a genious. Even though I had told this to my mom more than a week back and we did have a minor tussle arguing about the use of buying it, I adamantly told my mom that this has been something I have been waiting for years and not a random decision. Also, I added that compensation can take care of all this. She agreed and I had won the battle only to realize it was to be fought again.

Last Sunday, as we were coming back from darshan at some point the topic of money had come.

"Nayana, ee vache year varuku dabbu jagrataga karchu pettukovali..pelli chesukundam anukunav kada. ala ani enjoy cheyyadam maneyaku, baaga tinu, bayataku po. ee time lo ne nuvvu baga enjoy cheyyalsindi."

"sure nanna..nenu konni office wear konevi unnai ante..prastutaniki peddavi emi konevi levu..flat gurinchi nenu kuda alochistunna"

"good..adi rami reddy to matladanu, kani kudar ledu ra. evi kaali levanta. Inkoti chuddam le."

"sure nanna.."

"adokati..nuvvu inko laptop kontannanavu anta amma cheptunde..."

Silence. I knew the first bomb had been silently dropped. I know where this was going and also knew where this will land. Sadness just enveloped within myself and I could feel that sorrow was beckoning me to lie in its cruel arms and padding me to sleep with it, making me silently cry and challenging me, in fact daring me to go ahead. So I went on...

"avunu nanna..naaku eppadnundo konalani vundi.."

"nee laptop vundi kada ra.."

"adi old aipoyindi nanna..chala heat kuda vastundi..power idi adi chala problems.."

"ok, mari anni di vundi kada DELL..manchi laptop, baga repair ayyindi, chala bagundi adi teesko.."

Another brief silence. I lost it. I do not know how or why but i knew there was no going ahead now. Life indeed is a cruel thing. Why am I getting this treatment? As my thoughts rattled on in my depressed brain, the rationalization went on..

"utta cinemala kosamaite nuvvu laptop teesukoni waste..ledu naaku project kosam kavali..naaku aa high end config daani kosam avasaramu..deento kaadu ani aite cheppu..ok..naaku no problem..teesuko kottadi..emi ok na?"

What am I to tell? It's precisely for that very reason I need the new laptop, enjoy the movies in better aspect ratio 16:9 widescreen, dolby. Ever since I saw it in Kalyan's laptop I couldn't come over that feeling. Also yes partly it would indeed help me with my work too, I can take it along anywhere I want, I don't need to be constantly plugged in, no longer heat and goddamit its Win 7 Home Premium with 640 Gig and 4 GB RAM! Isn't that reason enough? Isn't that joy enough? Why should some things in life always have to be a justifiable cause.

"pratap di chala old nanna.."

"old sare le..work cheyachu kada..adi kakunda nuvvu antunna DELL ee laptop kuda. anavsranga enduku waste cheyyadam. nuvvu daani kavalante higher configuraiton ki marchuko extra vi add chesi"

Another silence. On the contrary, trying to get back to my rational mind, maybe I can do some upgrades to the laptop much cheaper, more RAM, more Harddisk, better processor, just maybe, i don't need to spend that extra 50 grand. So the supposedly sensible, truthful, thoughtful, budgetful, rational mind of mine keeping in view of the PROS and CONS of the situtation has rationalized and made me say

"avunu le nanna..correct ee..chustanu..enta hard disk add chesaru nanna"

"emo ra..teledu..chudali..initiki vellaka nenu teesi chupistanu..chudu..nuvu actual ga teesukoni po..mememi vadatledu daani.."

Fast forwarding to the present day moment, yesterday I had mind boggling sound effect when I switched on the laptop to see the movie 'Shutter Island'. I was content and delirious at this unexpected outcome. Maybe somethings can be adjusted, maybe I didn't need the new laptop, maybe I can upgrade, just maybe..

I sealed my fate today just around 3 hours back when I told my dad that laptop indeed was great and I liked it. Dad kush and he also told that he felt he had forced upon his decision and was in fact planning to shell out all the money for the new one by himself. Hearing my verdict he pointed me rightfully about how good the money can be utilized for something else..True indeed or is it?

Have I shot myself in my arm again.. I think so. Pouring my heart out in this eloquent post, I indeed realized I speak too soon and I should have stuck to my stand. I just want my laptop. I just realized how much of turmoil I had gone through and the mountains that I built upon for the new one as I write this post. I even had checked out the local prices at the Dell center the very first week I came back from Paris.

Good lord! Why am I such a pain in the backside? Why do I chicken out? I guess the only way to find out is to first by figuring out the costs of upgrade. Maybe mentally it may give peace and the true joy is only in buying a new laptop.

Amen!