Thursday, January 20, 2011

Performance, Pressure and Appraisal

It's been a great year at Accenture and looking ahead the next 5 months at Paris promises to enrich my experience further. The real worry though is what kind of life I am looking ahead. Having 4+ years of experience I am reaching the dangerous zone of "5+" where people have larger expectations of your work and personal life. While some insist "just B.E. is not enough" there are many countless voices that continuously haunt you to be career focused, smart and highly intelligent making enough moola to become a marriage material. These are mainly influenced by your peers or friends.

It is a very challenging path ahead and am eagerly looking forward to it. I have always believed goal setting, career focused, excelling in skill-building were the norms for some deranged front benchers for whom life is all about studying and getting good marks. The only mantra that I have carry forwarded so far in my career has been to be put my best efforts to accomplish my task and get it before the deadline.I have more or less succeeded in this goal. I am fortunate to work under Great managers (Mahidher, Julie, Mohit) who have helped me shape my decisions and have given critical but constructive feedback whenever I was at fault.

The last year at Satyam if there was one constant that constantly pushed me to excel and relearn has been e-Pulse. It pushed my thinking and writing abilities. Every edition has been challenging right from getting the articles, writing editorials, tea interviews, editing and finally publishing them. It did come to a stage where I severely let down my manager. Though the message of my under performance and lack of dedication to the project came from other source and not directly from him, I felt truly guilty and vowed to respect the project rules. I continued to deliver things on time and fine quality.

Times have changed. It no longer feels satisfied to be content with the work delivered. The rate at which people are moving ahead with careers be it moving up the ladder (Chitti), winning accolades (Sindu, Ananya) , publishing papers (Joyda, hats off man, George) or jumping to make the most of themselves (Srinu, Hari) has shook me out of my stupor. There is a constant need to excel and one needs to do it whole heartedly. We cannot afford to be stable and satiated. Seeing my dad or my aunt who have this tremendous zeal and outlook towards life, its high time I sincerely acknowledge my lackadaisical attitude whiling away all the precious time in office. I wish people at Accenture would add google reader to its blocked sites, or nytimes, or imdb. The whole first half of the day gets wasted in non-stop surfing around bloggers, tech websites and news. What is more wasteful is I am not able to remember most of what I felt awed about or read. The satisfaction, the joy and the knowledge that I gain by reading so much is just wasted for nothing.

To top that the time to perform is literally ticking. It is that time of the year where anxious and frenetic movements by other peers need to be doubly analyzed and kept guard. It's no bloody coincidence such heartfelt post is being written by me. Folks, its appraisal time. Back at Satyam, it was easy to fill those 6 P's and 5 R's and keep your fingers crossed on the outcome. Promotion was as hazy a term as say 'malnutrition'. It's a thing nobody gives a second thought. At least I didn't. You see its an unwritten rule that says 'No matter what you do, how you do, how fast you do, your fate is pre-determined'. Thankfully things here are different at least in terms of things that need to be showcased. Let me start off by saying in minds of people the unwritten rule persists and I am neither denying or accepting it. But the way it is showcased differs and you know exactly where you lack and where you stand in comparison.

First, in every weekly meetings, our TL never fails to mention what lies ahead and what we need to achieve to raise above the bar. Terms like 'action items', 'asset creation', 'knowledge sharing' are grilled and suddenly you have the feeling you have done absolutely nothing at all. Such discussions around the very folks against whom you are to be judged brings sweat down the spine. To top that the appraisal system forces you to label your own targets under three categories, People Developer, Value Creation and Business Operator. If you are good at what you do, namely anything with respect to the project, you have done your BO right. The problem is everyone gets this part right with full marks. It's what we achieve in other two metrics that creates a differentiating factor. People then become more secretive, more recluse and more competing. Though I dislike such atmosphere, there is nothing I can do but become one like them. The heat is on big time. I see all of them doing something or the other like white paper, test automation, submission of tech articles on kx. Just to satiate myself and partly because it's the truth I would like to say they got lucky. Lucky because some of the things they wrote came about because they faced troublesome issues in solving their bugs for performance. This inturn led to some knowledge enhancement which then became asset. Not groundbreaking asset but an asset nonetheless. I am not trying to berate them but it is just that some of the issues we faced had more to do with getting the product right and not much on performance front. So, I don't have any to showcase.

Coming to researching on various aspects of SSIS, it is still in the making. I am not finding noteworthy things to write about. Time is running out. Pressure is mounting. It's no coincidence that I am writing this at a time like this just to set the ball rolling. I completely agree with Deepak, when he says now is the time when we need to spend more time , day and night to up the ante and prove to others that there is more to us than just the job.

And yes CAMS, how in the world can I forget that. Unlike Satyam , here you get paid quite substantially a bonus for the unique skill set collectively called 'Hot Skill'. Every year an interview is taken by someone at highest level of skill (called P4 or SME). They guage you at various aspects of it and assign a grade. It is incumbent on one's part to better it lest you find yourself poorer by almost 6k every month. I was completely bowled over the first time I heard about it. I respect the company more for such endeavorer which is a win-win situation for both company and the employee.

I think I should be looking at the whole thing in different perspective. Putting aside the appraisal, the HSB, the peer pressure, isn't it high time, as I stated somewhere above, that I realize I need to better my career? Why do I not have the same zeal of a tireless programmer constantly looking to learn new things and become a expert? In the long run, aren't these what sets you apart from million others? Knowledge is divine and the day one doesn't reinvent and prepare for the future, is the day when one should accept you are no longer fit to fight for the top place. One should definitely possess a passion and goal. I pray I don't fall the victim and become a worthy individual.