“Job Insecurity…” said Mrs. Talkative. Quite right. That’s what it is then. If not why is it that the first feeling I get after scanning through the question paper is RELIEF that I am going to pass. Have I become so bad that I can’t look beyond 75% marks? Is it because of the way I have been performing the last two semesters averaging 70%, I feel that’s how I am and nothing I am going to do is going to change my vulnerability to fail, or is it?
“What do you want to achieve getting marks? you have a goal, the marks follow you,” reasons Adi. It is very hard to digest it but it is true. Whenever I sit up to study right from my first year it was only for few hours with as many breaks as the number of speed breakers on O.U. Road. I regret, feel bad, feel guilty, determine to change the sem that follows. The pattern repeats. There is no denying the fact that I haven’t put all my efforts and loafed around.
Of late it is these two things running in my mind. One thing I have come to realize is that consistency is vital in no matter what you do, till you see the end of whatever you want to do. Sounds little gibberish but I will clear with what I have gone through. The last three sems my preparation was in the drawing room of my house late in the night with T.V. running in the mute mode. I make sure I know all the topics on the syllabus book for a given subject. The day before the exam is when I cover all the topics of all five units. But it is that late night t.v. viewing and the complacency that sets in because I covered the topics and lack of revision that has gotten me those miserable marks. Supposing there were five holidays for the exam, I do my prep for the last two days. This must have been the trend among many of you out there.
To overcome this I decide to stop seeing television. I had successful continuous 30 non-television days before my resolve goes pfffff. Those 30 days I had wonderful time reading books, magazines, surfing the net, etc. How did I revert back? It started as a slow poison. One day I was dead tired after coming from college. I thought ten minutes of t.v. does no harm and then it goes on to an hour. The next day another hour gets added because of the “Passion of the Christ”. The next next day one more hour this time due to the excellent coverage of some amazing underwater species in Discovery. All this sound unadulterated fun. Flip- Channel [V] , another flip – Zoom t.v. – little more pleasure than what had been two days before. I become so relieved now as I come to understand what the hell were Chitti and Laddoo referring to when talking about so-and-so song and so-and-so movie trailers. I ain’t a outcast anymore. This is my number ONE Inconsistency.
Anybody who knows me little more than hi-bye would know that my memory is as good as writings on the sand (Confirmation: just pm Shadow…). I enroll to a yoga teaching center that runs the classes early in the morning. Religiously I did what ever asana they said without missing a class. I felt so happy doing whatever was asked and did as much publicity as possible to let all others follow my suit and realize the power of yoga. It makes you more agile, more fit, more alert and most important of all improves your concentration and memory power. As the days passed on this came to an end too and my chances of improving my memory power goes kaput.
Now that you read till now I ain’t need to tell you what to do. Trust me guys, you wouldn’t know about the guilt that is written all over me because I can’t stick on to anything new I take up and now I feel really intimidated thinking about the future challenges that I have to take up. They say whatever difficulties you have faced till now are just tip of the iceberg.
Knowledge is power they say and to get that you need to discipline yourself and that’s all I have to say about that.
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