Saturday, July 30, 2011

Unlawful law of Temptation and Control

I am so sick of writing all my weighing troubles now that I don't even feel an iota of guilt for the airy promises I have made such as the ones below -

Anu, if at all you really read this anytime, understand some day very soon without bloating about and keeping it under wraps, I would show you how disciplined I can really be and prove to me, myself and me alone that living healthy and fit is the best way to live.

I have been promising Anu that I will jog for the last three weeks and I haven't been able to fulfil the wish though.

I vow now to stop eating rice, oily foods and anything that got to do with fat inducing crap. And to Nikhil - "Dude, I definitely am going to keep track of number of days starting this vrath/fast". Watch out!

Those are the golden words going around ages and none of this I have kept up. Some thoughts that keep recurring in my mind are

"If there is one and only one thought that keeps recurring in my mind day and night, every single minute, every passing hour, every passing day that is of losing my weight and staying fit, how hard is it to control my mind and discipline my body? " (Apparently it is hard).

The other one is from one of my can-be-watched-100-times-without-getting-bored list of movies 'Sister Act I' - "If you wanna be somebody, if you wanna be somewhere you better wake up and pay attention". Actually this applies to two things one for writing, one for maintaining my body.

Both these dastardly thoughts too go pfff the minute the main topic of this post kicks in i.e. of Temptation. What happens is this, I start off my day with thought of not eating any rice, any oil, anything that is fat worthy. If anyone of these law is not abide, my mind automatically states that it is perfectly okay to restart the next day as I have already violated the rules.

"I ate pongal today that is made of rice and dal. So I can eat chicken biryani today."
"I worked so hard man. What am I working for if not for food? I can and should eat something substantial today to fill the hungry stomach- chicken noodles. Tadaaan"
"What are you having today? Noodles? Nahi yaar, you are tempting me too much. I will also eat noodles today"
"Choclates at the desk. Run..Run..Run."
"Second serving, third serving, gobble it up"

Temptation and control make your mind take crazy decisions. Even if I have successfully maintained my controlled diet for a single day, it is enough for my mind to tell my body that I am at liberty to celebrate and bombast about it to all the town with an excuse to eat as much as my heart desires. Amazingly, I was not alone in this as I discovered someone else telling me the same.

One great thing I have learnt is shopping is the best thing one can do to get back to reality check. Ill fitting clothes, lose shirts, really broad pants are enough to make you feel disgusted with your bulging stomach. Add to that the ridicule that friends bestow upon you and the ill reputation that one builds up around as with me -

"Karthik, kabhi bhi chicken se door nahi reh sakta hai yaar"
"arre bhai mein ek saal se dek raha hoon, he is not going to change"
"He is pathetic. Absolutely no control. Happily asking for one more cake. You should control dude"

Again an open question now, can I or can I not keep up my promise this time until the next post? Only Karthik can tell and he will.

P.S. Started this post 2 days back and feeling so relieved to complete it.
P.P.S Wanted to make this as short as possible but I realized I have absolutely no control on the length of the matter be it in official mails or the blog posts. Quite heavy on the head I must say.

No comments: