An Essay - Part I

And that's all it took to tear me apart to pieces. Something like this happens, you know there is something seriously wrong with you...

It's like this. We had an essay competetion titled "Dear Dad & Mom". You gotta write a essay of 1000 characters. It need not necessarily be for both. You could chose either of them and write. Well, first thing I did was to forward to some of my friends including certain Laxman Bhai (actual name Vaishali Laxman, henceforth will be known only as Laxman Bhai till she foresakes/resents/protest/raise a voice/ whatever which I "highly" doubt because she is never gonna see this blog ..trust me .. :) ).

As it happens I somehow didn't feel like writing till the D-Day was in horizon which for me is either 24 hrs or 48hrs. In the meantime like a pupil, I was checking up daily with her progress on the essay, goading her, encouraging her. Kept reminding her how bad her dad would feel if she won't write now that she has already told him. As for me I somehow was confident I could complete it.

"Hey, How is your essay going on? I am done with mine.." - Aditi madam reports. Oooh..Done? Well that's ...that sucks..I haven't even staretd mine, I mean did start, wrote one para. I replied back saying I will also complete it pucca by tomorrow for 8th time I believe in the last 8 days :) . Had dinner, opened my laptop and determined to complete itstarted thinking. For a long time nothing happened. Then panic struck. 1000 words about why I love my mom??? Holy crap, I don't have 1000 words, have only 150 and that too it was about my placement and how my mom helped me go through that difficult phase when I couldn't stop crying after getting rejected from TCS. Well, after writing that I was stuck. Had no clue whatsoever what should I go with. My thoughts were blocked and the words 1000 kept ringing in my ear. I felt very constricted, unable to have fluent thoughts and hence it seemed very herculean to me.  Or maybe I have forgotten how to write about something static in the sense something like what's your inspiration? Who is your Role Model? Write something about your job?

Common I can blog about my trip, my daily activities, Hari's driving , Chitti's musings, Hrithik's (Roshan) cooking habits, but reminiscing good ole days, trying to capture some time, reviewing a person and when that person is THE most important persons of your life I just couldn't get it out. Given a chance I can think of some nice things to write in a greeting, or a mail to her but to really bring an essay of 1000 words - i was not up for it. 

But I had a promise to keep and save my face too (as i said i was literallly badgering her daily with this...) so I stayed on with my laptop on my lap in front of t.v. with Srinu and Mr.Revanth Wipro. It was 12' O clock in the night. I was just reeling from the day's activities, saw 'Kung Fu' Panda in the morning, went to a play in the evening, did some roaming in the middle and needless to say I was tired. And all my focus was on completing the essay. Kept chanting to myself : focus, focus...

I start typing something, then look at T.V. Some random 2 year old hits were being played in Geimini in the progarm "latest hits". Half an hour goes by. Damn...Gotta Essay to Write

Some thoughts did gather in that passing time but nothing I could pen down elegantly. Again the temptation of checking out the reviews of "The Dark Knight" reigns in. I log on to imdb, check the rating. Holy molly cow!!! It is number #1. So I check out all the external reviews: Roger Ebert's, Variety, CineFan, Rotten Tomatoes, - The verdict is clear, it's a winner and my heart was thumping hard , i wanted to desperately see it. Reality came crashing hard. Damn...Gotta Essay to Write...

Focus..Focus...nothing..no..wait..yup.. why not write about her taste in Chinese, her aversion to lizards, her favorite Choclate ice-cream, the overflowing lunch box that she packs and chides you that I eat less when in fact that lunch box is sufficient for two?...how can I fit these with the essay? ...you also like all those things...so?...hmmm...I click on Gtalk and see familiar faces online at that point of hour ( 2:45 a.m.) Jash bhai and Venkat (heceforth only venkat..no Swaminaidu..). Somehow didn't feel like pinging Jash but Venkat..I had to...

I hear the same from him "Mindblowing action movie dude...for the heck of your goddamn life don't miss it..just don't..superb movie" ... so i chat for a while... 20 minutes pass..Damn...Gotta Essay to Write...

Around 4, Eswar comes out, poor thing... a stomach upset and he goes vomiting outside, drinks up some water, looks at me ,says nothing, goes back to the room. An hour had passed by, still I was the same where I was, with two paras and nothing more, nothing less, neither the thoughts nor the inclination. I could feel some pain in my arms, legs and in my eyes too... Well took a face wash, did some warm up exercies, felt as if i was  fresh..slept on teh floor with laptop in front of the pillowand started typing, typed whole lot of random things, broken sentences, strange thougths, whatever I had to do with the topic, then gave up. Saw some parts of 'My Neighbour Totoro' scrolling by and slept with one thought on my mind : Damn...Gotta Essay to Write... It was 5:15.

More to follow...not over yet...