Haven't blogged for a month? Pathetic. That's what my state is now : Pathetic. It is not as if this is something new as I have done this quite regularly in the past. But this time it is out of emotional depravity and internal turmoil that has kept me away from blogging.
Came early today to get the e-ISBN done but it just refuses to make itself understood. My incapacity to tackle the problem and get it completed before the D-Day makes me feel terrible and it further bogs me down. It is so frustrating to find yourself helpless to get results not because you haven't tried different ways of tackling the issue but beacause you can't understand it. Added to this is the fact that feelings of Inferiority Complex have accumulated as a bonus. It looks like of all the people from the erstwhile team I am left to lick my own bloody wounds with everyone else in a better position.
Not a day passes without me thinking and recollecting that Terrible day of interview and the events that followed: Huge mail to Julie, 2 Euphoric blogs on this subject,"ippude gantuleyaku inka kotha project etlundo teledu kada" ani adarsh annappudu "edaina gani Usha kanna goramyinidi edi vundadu kada ra " ani nenandam, Talks with Potharaju and his subsequent molifcation, failure to see the simple difference between ASP and ASP.Net, not talking with Shrikanth when Ranjit had approached him. Asalu how did I commit such mistake? I feel as if I have done the biggest mistake of my life.
I have tried to crrect them but it was too late. After hearing so many people telling me so many things and opinions on how to keep cool and go on with life Julie's words stand out " Enjoy your work...Most important".
Well the funny part is my emotions keep on going from one extreme to other in the sense some days it remains light and some other times I just go into real bad depression. Coming to the project, heck I don't think I will ever write anything about this goddamn project and let me keep my blog clean at least..
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